Fingerf***ing to the Final Four

(Above: is that a pom-pom in her hand, or did that cheerleader just finish off the mascot in a flourish of school colors?)

The field has cleared to a great extent, and yet the future remains shrouded in mystery. Most of us are out of the tournament, with points as follows:

Dustin: 6
Dan: 6
Billy: 5
Sean: 4
Sage: 3

Kirk, Brandon and Forrest are still alive thanks to UNC and Connecticut. Kirk and Billy have 6 points each, Forrest has only 4.

If UNC wins their Final Four matchup against Villanova, then Kirk and Brandon will be forced into a tiebreaker scenario. I don't feel like adding those numbers up right now, so I don't know who wins in that case. I think it's worth the anticipation though, because there are far more interesting tiebreakers available.

If UNC loses, Kirk and Brandon will be forced into a tiebreaker with Dustin and Dan and potentially Forrest as well if his UConn Huskies go the distance. That's WAY more math than I want to do right now, so I'm not even going to contemplate the hardships I may have designed for myself if such a nightmare basic math scenario as a five-way tie comes about. See the tiebreaker rules for the horrifying truth.

So I'll be pulling for UNC and rooting against UConn for purely selfish reasons, although the idea of a Villanova championship is appealing.

On the other hand... I felt pretty bad for giving Forrest such crappy picks after his epic first round 1-for-6, so the idea of being half-responsible for Forrhead's presence in the mix at the end of the tournament is appealing. I'm sure Kirk disagrees completely, but that's just because he only thinks of himself. I'm out of the tournament, so I am free to be gracious.

I was hoping to post the picture below after Memphis made the Final Four, but that didn't work out so well. But seriously: hottest cheerleader outfits of the tournament? Me thinky: yes.

Looking Up the Skirt of the Sweet Sixteen

After a wild four days in the Coleman bracket, almost all of us are still alive after Round 2. And almost all of us are tied. At the top of the league, it's Dustin and Dan with 5 points each. Dustin broke out of the first round with a league-topping 4 wins, then lost 3 of 4 games on Saturday. Dan came out of Round 1, but saw both his Pitt and Arizona teams reach the Sweet 16, making him the only contestant with more than one team left.

Tied at 4 points each are Kirk, Brandon, Billy and Sean. Each of us has one team left in the tournament, so all our hopes and dreams depend on who we picked for our top team. The same goes for Forrest, who is in last place but still alive.

Sage has 3 points after that monster Cinderella performance on Thursday and Friday, but all of his teams went down to defeat in Round 2, leaving him out of the tournament, but still potentially beating Forrest overall.

It has become clear that whoever picked the team that wins the tournament will be the One, Shining Coleman. Unless Forrest's Connecticut team wins it all, in which case he would have 6 wins, which somebody would probably be able to beat. Plus, he has to go through me in the Elite 8, and I don't see him stopping my mojo.

Just in case you didn't know, Christopher Walken twitters.

In honor of Forrest, bringing up the rear thanks to a bunch of really crappy picks by two of the people squarely in the middle of the pack, here's a picture of a UConn cheerleader:

Here's the handy-dandy chart for easy perusal:

Dan: 5 points. Remaining teams: Pitt, Arizona.
Dustin: 5 points. Remaining team: Louisville.
Sean: 4 points. Remaining team: Memphis.
Kirk: 4 points. Remaining team: North Carolina.
Brandon: 4 points. Remaining team: North Carolina.
Billy: 4 points. Remaining team: Pitt.
Sage: 3 points. Remaining team: none.
Forrest: 2 points. Remaining team: Connecticut.

Dan looks to be in the best shape, since he's got the most points and two possible routes to March glory. In fact, he could win the Coleman contest without either of his teams going all the way.

So the big family contest will be Dustin's Louisville vs. Dan's Arizona. This could be the match that defines the tournament.