Fingerf***ing to the Final Four

(Above: is that a pom-pom in her hand, or did that cheerleader just finish off the mascot in a flourish of school colors?)

The field has cleared to a great extent, and yet the future remains shrouded in mystery. Most of us are out of the tournament, with points as follows:

Dustin: 6
Dan: 6
Billy: 5
Sean: 4
Sage: 3

Kirk, Brandon and Forrest are still alive thanks to UNC and Connecticut. Kirk and Billy have 6 points each, Forrest has only 4.

If UNC wins their Final Four matchup against Villanova, then Kirk and Brandon will be forced into a tiebreaker scenario. I don't feel like adding those numbers up right now, so I don't know who wins in that case. I think it's worth the anticipation though, because there are far more interesting tiebreakers available.

If UNC loses, Kirk and Brandon will be forced into a tiebreaker with Dustin and Dan and potentially Forrest as well if his UConn Huskies go the distance. That's WAY more math than I want to do right now, so I'm not even going to contemplate the hardships I may have designed for myself if such a nightmare basic math scenario as a five-way tie comes about. See the tiebreaker rules for the horrifying truth.

So I'll be pulling for UNC and rooting against UConn for purely selfish reasons, although the idea of a Villanova championship is appealing.

On the other hand... I felt pretty bad for giving Forrest such crappy picks after his epic first round 1-for-6, so the idea of being half-responsible for Forrhead's presence in the mix at the end of the tournament is appealing. I'm sure Kirk disagrees completely, but that's just because he only thinks of himself. I'm out of the tournament, so I am free to be gracious.

I was hoping to post the picture below after Memphis made the Final Four, but that didn't work out so well. But seriously: hottest cheerleader outfits of the tournament? Me thinky: yes.

Looking Up the Skirt of the Sweet Sixteen

After a wild four days in the Coleman bracket, almost all of us are still alive after Round 2. And almost all of us are tied. At the top of the league, it's Dustin and Dan with 5 points each. Dustin broke out of the first round with a league-topping 4 wins, then lost 3 of 4 games on Saturday. Dan came out of Round 1, but saw both his Pitt and Arizona teams reach the Sweet 16, making him the only contestant with more than one team left.

Tied at 4 points each are Kirk, Brandon, Billy and Sean. Each of us has one team left in the tournament, so all our hopes and dreams depend on who we picked for our top team. The same goes for Forrest, who is in last place but still alive.

Sage has 3 points after that monster Cinderella performance on Thursday and Friday, but all of his teams went down to defeat in Round 2, leaving him out of the tournament, but still potentially beating Forrest overall.

It has become clear that whoever picked the team that wins the tournament will be the One, Shining Coleman. Unless Forrest's Connecticut team wins it all, in which case he would have 6 wins, which somebody would probably be able to beat. Plus, he has to go through me in the Elite 8, and I don't see him stopping my mojo.

Just in case you didn't know, Christopher Walken twitters.

In honor of Forrest, bringing up the rear thanks to a bunch of really crappy picks by two of the people squarely in the middle of the pack, here's a picture of a UConn cheerleader:

Here's the handy-dandy chart for easy perusal:

Dan: 5 points. Remaining teams: Pitt, Arizona.
Dustin: 5 points. Remaining team: Louisville.
Sean: 4 points. Remaining team: Memphis.
Kirk: 4 points. Remaining team: North Carolina.
Brandon: 4 points. Remaining team: North Carolina.
Billy: 4 points. Remaining team: Pitt.
Sage: 3 points. Remaining team: none.
Forrest: 2 points. Remaining team: Connecticut.

Dan looks to be in the best shape, since he's got the most points and two possible routes to March glory. In fact, he could win the Coleman contest without either of his teams going all the way.

So the big family contest will be Dustin's Louisville vs. Dan's Arizona. This could be the match that defines the tournament.

First Round Results

The first round is over and so far it's neck-and-neck, except for Forrest who only has one team remaining. Dustin is in the lead with four points, followed by everyone else who has three.

Oh, and Forrest, who has one point. (Neither the Commissioner nor his toady intended to deal Forrest such a crappy hand--we tried to do that to Sage. Sorry, Forrest. Sage, best of luck with Cleveland State and Dayton.)

(As of this writing, Dustin has already lost a second round game, with Villanova killing UCLA by 20 points, so that paper-thin lead of his might just be evaporating. In commemmoration of Dustin's 2nd round loss, I've posted a picture of a UCLA cheerleader.)

For the record, here are the teams we've all got our hopes pinned on:

Sean: Memphis, Wisconsin, Texas A&M

Kirk: North Carolina, Arizona State, Texas A&M

Billy: Pitt, Maryland, Michigan

Dustin: Louisville, Maryland, Michigan

Dan: Pitt, Maryland, Arizona

Brandon: North Carolina, Siena, Western Kentucky

Sage: Washington, Dayton, Cleveland State

Forrest: Connecticut

GO BLUE!

First trip to the dance in 11 years, and they break through to the second round. Time to celebrate:

The Baracket is Posted

There was an attempted late entry into the Coleman family March Madness tournament, but someone failed to read the rules so we had to disqualify him. Here's his bracket anyway.

Honestly, I tried to find a way to keep him in our tournament. But I was thinking about the need for rules in society and I realized that some things are more important than having the leader of the free world involved in your family fantasy sports tournament. Things like law. And order. If the President thinks he can just waltz in here with his bracket and not follow the seeding rules, he's got another thing comin'. Can we allow the rule of law to be subverted, even in the tiniest of matters? No we can't.

For those of us left in the tournament, here are the teams we all picked:

There were some issues with the picks: Forrest's "internet went down" so the Commissioner and his toady picked his teams for him. We also picked Sage's teams, but that was a different story.

Oh, and I'm sorry about the whole extra half point theme thing. That turned out to be an unrealizable goal, given the small number of teams in the tournament and the needlessly complex other rules that forced us all to pick teams we really didn't want to pick. On balance, I think having a lot of teams way down the bracket makes the first two days of the tournament way more interesting than they would have been if we weren't required to invest so many picks in the potential cinderellas. (If that sentence didn't make any sense to you, you're not alone.) It was worth a try, and I am still pro-arbitrary, silly rules.

Don't forget to vote for Pedro 

A Key to Psychology? Thanks Alan.

Infinity in Geometry? Thanks Arthur.

Fractals, The Colors Of Infinity Part 1
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I guess the debate is now over.

Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat

Once you own one, you see them everywhere...

(special courtesy of Nick & Norah)

And, I guess I agree.

The real question is, how long do I need it for?

Yea... share the fun!

Say what? Challenge pissing!? Are you serious...