March Madness! It's Awesome, Baby!

Yes, I got bored and changed the colors and layout around. I hated that green about a week after I created the blog. I also changed the blog title to reflect the new sport. Any ideas for something more permanent?

We're firing up the Coleman fantasy sports thing again, this time for the NCAA Tournament. I'll be your Commissioner for this one, which means I'm going to try to rig it so that I win. Fortunately for you, I suck at that.

Here are the rules:

6 picks overall, distributed as follows:

1 team: 1-4 seed

1 team: 5-8 seed

2 teams: 9-12 seed

2 teams: 13-16 seed

Then there are the stranger rules:

No two teams from the same conference.

No two teams from the same state.

Extra half-win overall for uniting all six teams under one theme. (For example: every team has the same color scheme, every mascot's a bird, every team has a "Johnson" in the starting five, every team has had players suspended this season for an NCAA infraction, etc. Final arbitration on the suitability of your theme idea is with the Commissioner, who has introduced himself already.) This means that even if all of your teams are wiped out in the first round, you'll still have half a point if you, say, can prove that Dick Vitale has managed to get through an entire television segment on each of your teams without using the word "baby." I don't actually believe those teams exist, but if you're that dedicated and can find them, I will personally buy you a Dick Vitale Alarm Clock in appreciation of your awesomeness, even if you end the tournament with only half a win.

The point is, the randomer the connection, the more your Commissioner will like it. Also, the larger the bribe, the more your Commissioner will like it. So a theme such as, "each school had $20 donated on its behalf to the Sean Nelson Economic Stimulus Fund" would definitely get you that extra half point. Plus, you might be able to deduct it on your taxes.

Scoring is simple:

1 point for every win.

Most points wins.

In case of a tie, winner goes to the player with the most total offensive points scored. 2nd tiebreaker goes to biggest point differential (total points minus total opposing team points). 3rd tiebreaker goes to me.

Just kidding about the 3rd tiebreaker. We'll probably have to get the Supreme Court involved to settle that one.

Last but not least: Sage's teams are picked for him, whether he likes it or not.

***Important Note***

Selection Sunday is March 15, with the tournament begining March 19, so you'll have a window of a little more than three days to get your picks in. Don't flake on me. Send them to me, seannelson AT gmail DOT com or leave them in the comments to this post. Also, if you want to post here and you're not one of the names in that box up at the top left*, email me and I'll get you started.

Prizes have not yet been determined.

If everyone gets wiped out early, feel free to suggest a way to salvage the contest. Also, if someone runs away with it early, we'll have a second tournament or something. Or maybe just a "hottest cheerleader picture from one of the schools I picked" contest with bonus points if she was ever kicked off a squad for doing porn. Or a "Separated at Birth?" contest featuring one of your mascots and a celebrity, like this one I just made because the idea sounded funny:

You know, something stupid like that.

* By "that box up at the top left," I of course mean "that box up at the top right." I know you want a Commissioner who knows his right from his left, and I'm dedicated to making sure you have that as often as possible. Back when I lived in Arizona, I could see Mexico from my house; so I also have foreign policy experience. When, it occurs to me, will Sarah Palin jokes no longer be current? Has it happened already? Do I need to stop?