So, what do we do about the Kirk's team this week? Does he get half a point? No points, because his team didn't win? A full point, because his team didn't lose? A full point, because it's not like Kirk's running away with this thing anyway? No points, because his team tied with the freaking Bengals of all teams? God, at least have the decency to split the difference with a team that could definitely compete in NCAA Division 1! This is a conundrum. A quandary. A dilemma. A... difficult thing to figure out.
My vote is for the half point. That way, Kirk's record will show that there was something weird going on. Then, when future researchers look into it, they'll find that one of the teams he picked tied to a team that ended the season 1-14-1. Then they will laugh at him, though he be long gone from this world. And in that moment, future and past will be united, their laughter joining mine. And possibly the rest of ours, Kirk's included.
I mean, who the hell can't beat the Bengals? Certainly none of the teams the rest of us picked! (If that statement jinxed Billy's Steelers and/or Brandon's and Dustin's Colts, so much the better. None of my teams are facing the Bengals later this season, and I am all about bringing the kismet.)
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These things certainly happen from time to time in the college world. I think it's only fair to call it a non-played event.
However, I do like the idea of historians looking at my ancient, laughingstock ways.
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