From the Department of Gratuitous Pictures of Scantily-Clad Women, Part the Third

Nothing to say really, except the Cowboys really should be winning by more. I know, Romo's out and the more fashion-conscious pirate-themed team is having a very good year, even with fellow Gilroy High Alumnus Jeff Garcia warming his hands in the soft folds of the Center's inner thinghs, but the fact is, Dallas was supposed to kick total ass this year and they're just above average and in the most surprisingly good division in the sport.

And don't even get me started on that close game between the Mormoms and the representatives from Sin City. How the UNLV players aren't hung over all the time and throwing games to pay off gambling debts is beyond me. Philosophically though, I'd much rather see the guys who wear special underwear get trounced by the guys who probably don't know where they left their underwear. Goody two-shoes fricking well-oiled machine.

I'm still glad I picked them, but my inability to not sneer at them forces me to link to this.

(Incidentally, you should probably know that I picked teams I either can't stand (BYU, Dallas, Minnesota) or don't care about (Mt. Union, NYJ) so that whether they won or lost, I might have a reason to celebrate. I did this because I am a Raiders fan. Now, if this was a fantasy league in which points were given based on penalty yards assessed, coach and staff firings, turnovers and scoreless streaks, I'd be bleeding silver and black right now.)

It's Like Rain on Your Wedding Day

It's not ironic though. It's always annoyed me that Alanis Morisette couldn't manage to write a song about irony that included any irony in it, especially since the lyrics are themselves specifically supposed to illustrate irony. Did no one at any point prior to the release of that album ever pull her aside and show her the definition of ironic, and perhaps suggest she retitle the song, "Unfortunate, Perhaps Morbidly Amusing"? You wonder why I can't sleep at night, here's a partial answer for you.

Back to the thing that is only ironic in an Alanis Morisette/ignorance of the meaning of the term way: I'm not complaining or anything, but you would think that on a weekend when your opponents include the Raiders, the Rams and the Horned Frogs, you'd do better than 1 for 5.

Is Anything Predictable Anymore?

Whoa, five NFL games decided in the last seconds, the Bosox coming back from 7 runs down in the bottom of the 7th, BYU losing?!! (sorry Sean) to the Horny Toadies, ... and should I even mention Joe the Plumber...? OK, I guess I already did, so here's the link CNN hasn't seen yet.

At least we still have beer, tacos, big cushy sofas ($), and
<--- football.

Not Football-Related, but Whatever...

Google to the rescue! Either this is a new high in customer care, or another sign of impending apocalypse.

From the Department of Gratuitous Pictures of Scantily-Clad Women, Part Deux

I somehow managed to fail to relay Easterbrook's other football-hottie-related item in this week's column:

In mega-babe news, the Washington Redskins and Philadelphia Eagles seem locked in a competition to see whose cheerleaders can wear the least in warm-weather games without getting arrested. The Eagles' cheer-babes certainly made a statement at Lincoln Financial Field on Sunday. Will the Redskins' cheer-babes reply when Washington plays at home this coming Sunday?

It would be an act of betrayal if they didn't.

For the sole purpose of covering this story as completely as possible, here's a picture of an Eagles Cheerleader and a Redskins Cheerleader, wearing something other than their cheerleading uniforms:

From the Department of Gratuitous Pictures of Scantily-Clad Women

Finally the Norsemen pull a win out of their horn-hats! No losses for me this weekend! The Scandinavians' win was probably thanks to Gregg Easterbrook, who chose a Minnesotan as Cheerleader of the Week in the latest TMQ:

This week's honoree is Jenna from the Minnesota Vikings, a University of Minnesota student studying to become a pediatric nurse. A cheerleader and a nurse -- male fantasy overload. According to her team bio, Jenna's favorite perfume is Coach. Presumably she means from the Coach leather company, not perfume that would make her smell like a coach.

At Least I'm Not Last.

I am though, just barely better than mediocre.

Without Ghost Saggy's selections purposely chosen for ultimate mediocrity, last I would be.

However, for those of you happier about your W-L record, I submit the following updated results (click to enlarge):

Sarah Palin on Oregon State's Loss to Utah, a Week After Defeating USC

"Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced your whole comment with USC. Now doggone it, let's look ahead and tell Americans how we have to plan to play for them in the future. You mentioned defense and I'm glad you did. I know defense you are passionate about with your father being a defensive coordinator for 30 years, and god bless him. His reward is in heaven, right? I say, too, with defense, our team needs to be putting a lot more focus on that and our school has got to be really ramped up in terms of the practice that they are requiring. Linemen needed to be played more. I come from a house full of defensive coordinators. My grandpa was, my dad who is in the audience today, he's a defensive coordinator, had been for many years. My brother, who I think is the best defensive coordinator in the year, and here's a shout-out to all those Freshmen at Compton Community College, you get extra credit for watching the debate."

(Original here. All changes have been bolded.)

In Coleman news, Forrest should be arriving in Southern Arizona late tonight. We'll probably stay up all night drinking Pepsi, playing Monopoly and eating Totino's Party Pizzas.